I just never thought my mom would be a widow…we all figured Dad would be the one left. The youngest and healthiest of 5 brothers-and-sisters, at 78 my dad looked so much like Star Trek’s Capt Picard, that folks would stop and point. Fit, dignified, calm under all circumstances…I never even considered what it would be like without him Down Here on Earth.
April, a year ago, he was diagnosed with a very bad cancer and although we had the world’s best facilities, equipment, and surgeons, it got him. He died this past January, after a valiant fight.
I feel so clearly that God looked down, saw my dad and his life, and said, “Well done, Don Johnson; come on Home.” We are so thankful to have had time to say good-bye…to hear Dad tell as many stories as we could get out of him, to hug and laugh and cry with him. To be hugged by him and see the calm in his eyes.
I imagine a field of rich, dark, fertile soil that is being plowed by a huge, wide tractor. Each furrow is straight and deep; onebehind me and one behind everyone I know. It’s like the blade that was plowing Dad’s furrow, just picked up, and that furrow ends. The furrow is clean and strong and straight…and complete.
One evening, while I was home alone, in Seattle, and Dad was in his last days, in Florida, I was so clearly struck that…it’s really all about God…and me. Dad and my mom and my husband and everyone I know, who I lean upon in this life, are not permanent. Only God is always always no matter what, going to be here with me.
I’ve always known that God knows what He is doing, and what He allows to happen, Down Here. Alot of it, I don’t understand. But I know He does. I trust him…like I used to squeeze my daddy’s hand as I hopped from one stone to another across a creek, I cling to God. And in the end, it’s really all about me and Him. That’s really the bottom line; the most important thing.
I am surprised that I don’t miss my dad more. When I think of him, I nearly always smile and fill up with a warm satisfied assurance. I am so thankful that God lent him to me, to be my dad, while he was Down Here. I am a very blessed girl.
Julie Eidson